A few days ago I was walking at night in Boston’s Chinatown, when a tall man approached me.
He stood directly in front of me, looked me in the eye, and said, “Yo bro, I gotta eat. You got some money?”
Perhaps I just wasn’t in the giving mood that cold night at 9pm, but I don’t think anyone else on that street would’ve been either. I said sorry, and moved to my left to pass him. He took a step to his right, and blocked my path. Surely it was a mistake, I thought to myself. So I side-stepped to my right, so I could get on with my night, but again, the towering man blocked my path. At this point I realized the man intentionally stood in my way, and with a little more effort this time, I stealthily slid by him…
I’m a person who believes in the power of strangers. Sometimes conversations with people we don’t know, and may never see again, are the most memorable, teach us the most, and give us perspective on our own lives. When traveling across Europe for 5 months, I constantly interacted with a variety of people, locals and tourists alike, who opened my world up to the many opportunities that can arise from simply asking a stranger a question.
In an art store in Barcelona I asked, Which one is your favorite?
In a 3 hour line in Paris I asked, How long do you think this will take? (we were both far too optimistic in our predictions)
Watching the sunset from the top of a hill in Prague I asked, It’s beautiful, isn’t it?
I showed interest in the lives of complete strangers in these situations, and in many others along the way, which led me to friendships I never imagined, experiences I would never trade away, and a newfound discovery about many everyday people around me.
Now let’s be clear, you won’t share some great conversation every time you talk to strangers. (I didn’t tell you about my failed conversations with others, but that’s because 1) they don’t matter and 2) I don’t remember them.) But what we do share, and often neglect to see in our everyday lives, is the many possibilities for connections we have with others. As the viral blog, Humans of New York has shown, people have stories worth sharing and stories they are willing to share, even with complete strangers. And when we share these stories, everyone is better off. They feel heard, and we appreciate their stories. Take a look in the comment section of HONY, and you can feel the impact.
…So when a complete stranger asked me for money then blocked my path, how did that change my belief in the power of the stranger?
Well, I did feel pretty uncomfortable walking around later that night. And this experience did stick with me for a couple of hours, but then it hit me.
Would I let this one negative experience, change, and possibly distort, my view of the world?
Would I let this enforce a belief I have about all tall men?
Would I let it instate a belief I have about all people of the man’s race?
Would I let it give me some perspective about all people in Chinatown?
While events such as these are legitimate causes for concern, we cannot let them give us a false sense of the world we know. We cannot let the small sample sizes of negative experiences drown out our beliefs from a lifetime of positive ones. We must acknowledge harsh realities, but still see the bigger picture.
By sharing the small acts of kindness, the conversations that spark ideas, and the stories that leave impressions, we can more accurately portray, and better remind ourselves, of the real world we live in.
*Written on December 19, 2017.